Like most people looking for love these days, you’re on Tinder. But, if you haven’t had luck finding genuine connections, you might be wondering if it’s worth the effort at all.
Instead of throwing in the towel, it might be time to rethink your opening line! In this article, we’ll talk about why having a good opener is such a game-changer and offer a few examples to get you started.
Tips for Tinder Openers
Use Humor
Because online dating can sometimes feel disconnected and distant, humor is a great tool to make your interactions more personal and warmer.
And, as it turns out, you don’t even have to be a stand-up comedian to reap the benefits of humor! A study from Computers in Human Behavior found that something as simple as a funny pick-up line could be enough to get the ball rolling. For instance, the opener that got the best response from women in the study said,
“Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?”
Now, we should note that cute pick-up lines didn’t have the same effect on men in the study. So, anyone looking for a man on the site will have to use another tactic.
Compliments that Work
Compliments are another ice-breaking technique that is more effective than a generic greeting. But only if you know how to give the right compliment!
For one thing, compliments on appearance are usually not as successful as the complementor intends. That’s because focusing on looks feels superficial and unimaginative.
Instead, compliment them on something that goes beyond genetics and good lighting. In other words, find something in their profile or pictures that you genuinely think is cool—such as their crazy-dyed hair, hobbies, or humorous bio—and compliment that.
The Impact of GIFs
Don’t listen to the haters who say GIFs are outdated. In fact, according to Tinder data, using a GIF in the opener can increase your response rates by 30%!
That’s because GIFs set themselves apart visually from other messages in someone’s Tinder DMs. If you can draw them in with the right dancing Kermit or Michael Jackson eating popcorn GIF, you’re already beating out the competition.
Personalization is Key
Part of what creates burnout in Tinder messaging is receiving the same cookie-cutter message over and over again. So, one important thing that you can do to set yourself apart is tailor your opener to each match!
For instance, if you notice that someone’s profile picture was taken at the beach, you might ask them what their favorite beach book or magazine would be. Or, if they talk about their hobbies in their bio, use that to craft your opener.
Open-ended Questions for Better Engagement
When asking questions on Tinder, consider whether your phrasing can easily be answered with one word. If the answer is yes, then it’s time to switch up your question-crafting technique!
What we mean by this is that in order to spark conversation, your goal should be to elicit more engaged and thoughtful responses. For example, instead of saying “How was your weekend?” you can ask “What was the most exciting thing you’ve done this weekend?”
These kinds of questions suggest that you’re genuinely interested in learning more about them, and aren’t just making conversation.
Playful and Flirty Messages
As with humor, playfulness and flirting can be a great way to make things instantly feel comfortable between you and a match. Of course, being flirty with someone you’ve never met can feel odd and even come across as inappropriate if you’re not careful, so it’s important to keep things light.
You might try out these examples of flirty openers:
- “Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
- “I had a pick-up line ready, but your beauty made me forget it.”
The Importance of Using Their Name
Another way to get over the tech barrier on Tinder is to start getting comfortable using your match’s name. This will make your interactions feel more connected and genuine, and it will ensure that you’re not just cutting & pasting your pick-up lines from one chat to the next.
As he discussed in his famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie was a big proponent of using someone’s name to make them feel valued and seen. According to him, remembering and using a person’s name is a way to honor and respect them, which will certainly lead to a stronger connection.
Sharing Fun Facts
Fun facts can be an excellent jumping board for interesting conversation. And, they can take the pressure off of the whole “we’re here to date” thing. After all, it’s not every day that someone logs onto their Tinder account and is able to walk away with something that they’ll be excited to tell other people about!
And, if you can incorporate a fun fact into a pick-up line, you’re even more likely to get a positive response! Here are a few examples:
- “Did you know that honey never spoils? Just like our potential relationship!”
- “Did you know that the average heart beats 100,000 times per day? Mine went way over that the moment I matched with you.”
- “Did you know it would take 19 minutes to fall to the center of the Earth?” I fell for you much faster than that.”
The Appeal of Being Direct
Okay, even though all of the tips we’ve shared so far have proven results, you may be thinking that they’re just too far away from your authentic personality. And that’s okay! Actually, being direct is a different tactic that can also be quite effective.
You might, for example, try moving right past the flirtation and pick-up lines to share something vulnerable, like “I find you really interesting and I’d love to get to know you better. What do you say?”
The benefit of being direct is that it shows that you’re confident and serious about getting to know someone on Tinder. And, that’s not to say that you can’t have fun, either. If you still want to show your playful side, you might say something like, “Just based on your profile, I think we could have a great time boogying down on the dancefloor or making each other laugh until one of us cries. Sound like a date?”
Using Emojis Wisely
When it comes to emojis, using the right amount can be the difference between fun and annoying. Here are a few dos and don’ts for using emojis to enhance rather than detract from your opener:
- Do use one or two emojis to emphasize your point. For instance, if you’re opening with something like, “This work week is dragging on. I hope it’s going better for you,” you might add in a melting face emoji.
- Don’t use ambiguous emojis. You might want to set yourself apart, but using emojis that aren’t instantly understandable will leave your match confused.
- Do use emojis to clarify sarcasm. An upside-down smiling emoji can be a smart way to let the person know you’re being playful to cut down on misunderstandings.
- Don’t replace words with emojis. If you’re eating an apple, write out the word.
Mentioning Common Interests
There are two benefits to mentioning common interests in your opener. On the one hand, it shows that you actually took the time to look through their profile and learn something about them. Remember that most people put real thought into how they present themselves on Tinder, so mentioning their hobbies is a great first move.
And, it also allows you to show that you have something you can enjoy together! If you see them cooking in their profile picture, saying something like, “I see you like cooking. Me too! What’s your favorite dish to make?” could lead to a conversation about cooking techniques and favorite recipes. Before you know it, you’re planning on attending a cooking class together.
The Value of Creativity
Being creative with your Tinder opener is a way for you to show that you haven’t become jaded or bored with the dating process. And that will absolutely lead to more positive interactions on the platform!
That’s not to say that you need to be a creative genius to impress your match! A simple question like, “If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go” is far more creative and interesting than “Hey, what’s up.”
Timing Matters
Maybe you’re in a habit of checking Tinder before you go to work or during your lunch break. Unfortunately, your timing might be what’s keeping you from making connections on the site!
Recent data from the info-gathering website Nielsen revealed that Tinder gets the most traffic around 9 pm. You’ll also be in pretty good company if you hop on the site sometime between 2 pm and 10 pm. Outside of those hours, though, your opener might get crickets.
Avoiding cliché
You wouldn’t want to come off as a cliché in person so there’s no reason why you’d want to present yourself as one online! So, if you haven’t already, it’s time to put to rest the most predictable pick-up lines, such as “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” and “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I unmatch and match again?”
Instead, put some thought into making your pick-up lines fresh and surprising, like: “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple” or “I didn’t know there was a special on cute-cumbers today!”
Following Up
One of the downsides of Tinder is that it’s easy to get lost in the sauce of so many matches, DMs, and first dates. So, if someone doesn’t respond to you immediately, don’t take it personally. Your opener might have been stellar! But your match may have gotten distracted before they were able to respond.
Following up can be a good strategy if you can do so in a polite and non-pushy way. Say something like, “Hey, I noticed you didn’t get a chance to respond. I’d still love to chat if you’re interested.”
Understanding the Competition
As of this year, Tinder has an active user base of around 75 million users, with the US accounting for 7.8 million. There are also estimates that men make up somewhere between 70 and 75% of users on the site.
What does that mean for your opener? Well, it’s got to be really good—at least if you’re a man! Otherwise, the odds are not really in your favor, even if you know you’re a catch!
Tailoring Messages by Age Group
One more way that you can boost your opener’s success is by tailoring it to the age of your audience. Younger users, between 18 and 29, will generally be more receptive to fun, playful, and adventurous openers. Someone a little bit older, though, will appreciate a more serious and thoughtful first line.
For example, if you’re talking to a Gen Z or young Millennial, consider saying something like, “What’s your regular coffee order, and what’s your coffee order when you want to treat yourself to something special?” Whereas for someone older, you might say something like, “What are your thoughts on coffee dates? Good first date? Or too casual?” The topic is the same, but the conversation will go in two different directions!
Maintaining a Healthy Mindset
There’s no doubt that many of us are feeling the negative effects of excessive swiping, fear of missing out, ghosting, and other realities of online dating. But, getting bogged down can be a sure way to close yourself off from potential matches and genuine connections.
So, what is our best recommendation for writing a great Tinder opener? Do it when you’re feeling relaxed, hopeful, and in a good mood!
30 Great Tinder Openers to Use in 2024
Given everything we’ve covered so far, it’s time for you to start crafting your perfect Tinder opener! We suggest that you take inspiration from this list, and make any changes that will allow your authentic voice and personality to shine through!
- "You have to survive the zombie apocalypse with the last person you texted. How screwed are you?"
- "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses? And why?"
- "If you could be any mythical creature, which one would you choose and why?"
- "You're a mad scientist. What's your first crazy invention?"
- "Describe your life using only movie titles. Go!"
- "If you could time travel but only to the past, where and when would you go first?"
- You can only listen to one song for the rest of your life. What's your anthem?"
- "You have to live in a TV show universe for a year. Which one do you choose?"
- "What's your go-to dance move at weddings?"
- "If you had to marry a famous historical figure, who would it be?"
- "What's your spirit animal and why?"
- "You're a ghost haunting a house. What's your signature scare tactic?"
- "If you could have any celebrity narrate your life, who would you pick?"
- "You're a chef on a cooking show. What's your signature dish?"
- "If you could swap places with your pet for a day, what would you do?"
- "What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?"
- "If you could create a new holiday, what would it be called and how would it be celebrated?"
- "You're a wizard. What's your magical specialty?"
- "If you had to live in a video game world, which one would you choose?"
- "What's your guilty pleasure TV show or movie?"
- "If you could be a professional athlete, what sport would you play?"
- "You just won a lifetime supply of the last thing you bought. What is it?"
- "If you were a cartoon character, what would your catchphrase be?"
- "You're in charge of planning the ultimate prank. What's your master plan?"
- "If you could have a personal robot assistant, what tasks would you make it do?"
- "What's your superhero alter ego's name and what are their powers?"
- "You have to form a band with three other people. Who do you choose and what's your band's name?"
- "You're on a reality show where you have to live with one famous person for a month. Who do you pick?"
- "If you could instantly learn any language fluently, which one would you choose?"
- "You have a magic button that can transport you anywhere in the world for one day. Where do you go?"