Is spooning the key to a healthy, happy relationship? Can it increase physical intimacy? And, how long has this practice been around?
In this article, you’re going to get a spoonful of interesting info on this common cuddly (and sometimes steamy!) practice.
Definition of Spooning
As is the case with many informal words, spooning has more than one definition.
On the one hand, there’s the PG version, or the non-sexual variation of spooning. This is one that’s been popularized by media, memes, and popular culture, in general. So if you’ve only heard spooning refer to a form of cuddling, you’re not alone!
That being said, there is a sexual version of spooning that’s not as widely discussed. We’ll talk more about how this version can provide certain advantages for intimacy, especially for folks who are pregnant or dealing with an injury.
Let’s take a closer look at each type of spoon you can try out for yourself!
Cuddling Technique
The cuddling version of spooning involves two people lying comfortably in a vertical position facing the same direction. This allows the person in the back to drape one arm around their partner’s torso and nestle their knees into the back of their partner’s knees.
You can see how this cuddling position looks like two spoons resting in a utensil drawer!
Sexual Position
The sexual version of spooning uses the same physical position as the cuddling version. But, it’s used during sexual intimacy. As such, it can include elements of:
- Vaginal or anal penetration.
- Stimulation of various pleasure areas such as the clitoris, scrotum, breasts, neck, and ears.
- Kissing of the back and shoulders.
Variations of Spooning
In both the cuddling version and the sexual version of spooning, there are a variety of different ways to do it successfully! Here are a few options:
- More than two people.
- Alternatives of leg positioning, including scissoring or lifting of the knee.
- The use of sex toys or play techniques.
Advantages of Spooning
Spooning is considered one of the most popular cuddling and sexual positions for couples, and that’s because there are a variety of advantages!
For one thing, cuddling and positive physical intimacy both release feel-good chemicals in the brain including oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. These neurotransmitters are responsible for maintaining mood stability, healthy sleep patterns, immune health, and more.
When it comes to sexual positions, spooning offers a few other advantages, as well. Not only does this position allow for more targeted stimulation of the G-spot in women, but it’s also less physically straining than other methods. This can allow for a longer session with lower impact and muscle fatigue. As we’ll cover in depth later on, these advantages make spooning a particularly beneficial position for anyone with mobility issues.
Disadvantages of Spooning
Spooning isn’t without its drawbacks, including:
- Potential cutting off of blood circulation. This is especially true for couples who use spooning as a sleeping position, in which the person in front rests their head on the arm of their partner.
- Poor temperature regulation. Spooning invites a lot of body-to-body contact, which isn’t comfortable for everyone.
- Lack of eye contact. Eye contact can be an important form of connection-building in moments of intimacy. It can also be used to monitor the comfort level of the other person for non-verbal check-ins. However, with spooning, the lack of face-to-face contact makes this difficult.
- Physical discomfort. Not every body type is comfortable with spooning, especially when it comes to penetration. Some couples find, for instance, that slipping out is common and frustrating enough to write off spooning as a viable option.
Benefits for Special Conditions
As we mentioned, there are some groups that may be especially well-suited to spooning, both as a cuddling or sleeping position and sexual practice!
Pregnant Women
Side sleeping is recommended for pregnant women as it facilitates better blood flow for the body and the baby. It can also cut down on back pain and breast tenderness that comes from sleeping on the back or face down.
That being said, for pregnant women who experience heartburn, spooning may not be the best sleeping position, as an elevated torso is said to help alleviate nighttime indigestion.
Spooning as a sexual position during pregnancy also has some benefits! In particular, it can help to cut down on movement patterns and the impact that might cause pain during pregnancy.
Recovery from Illness or Surgery and Elderly Individuals
Depending on the specifics of the illness or recovery plan, side sleeping and resting may be recommended by a doctor. As in the case of pregnancy, this is because spooning facilitates better blood flow and breathing without putting undue stress on the muscles.
For these reasons, spooning is also considered a beneficial option for elderly couples.
Historical Context
The spooning position is such a natural one that it probably won’t surprise you to learn that it’s been around for millennia. In fact, archaeologists have found Neolithic skeletons spooning in the famous Alepotrypa Cave in modern-day Greece. And there are also records of Roman erotic art showcasing spooning as a sexual position.
That being said, the question “What is spooning?” is probably not as old as the phenomenon itself. While the origins of the term are disputed, some theorize that it dates back to a 17th-century Welsh practice of courtship! In this time period, suitors would give their love interest a hand-carved wooden spoon to show their affection and craftsmanship. The more ornate the spoon, the better chances a suitor would have of impressing his future bride and her family.
Cultural and Social Recognition
Nowadays, spooning is a well-known social phenomenon. But it wasn’t always so widely accepted! Old Hollywood censorship laws, for instance, prohibited on-screen couples to be shown in bed together. What’s more, the beds that were shown on screen were often not big enough for spooning to be on the minds of viewers.
But despite attempts to suppress spooning, it never went away completely! In fact, the phrase is regularly mentioned on television shows, and in memes and movies, and it even exists in other languages as well. “Dormir en cucharita” in Spanish, for example, translates literally to sleeping in the little spoon.
Discussion in Broader Sexual Contexts
Not everyone is comfortable talking about the question, “What is spooning and how can it benefit us?” But that hesitation can lead to a chilling effect on sexual exploration and accommodations that would make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for couples!
As we’ve mentioned here, for instance, spooning is a position that can provide benefits for anyone with mobility issues. Not only is it low impact, but it also can help to facilitate other forms of stimulation that may be necessary for arousal and orgasm. Overall, we should discourage people from labeling spooning as a “lazy” position and instead celebrate its advantages and accessibility for people with different needs and desires.
Perceived Comfort and Intimacy
One thing that we should keep in mind when talking about spooning in broader sexual contexts is consent. Because spooning is so common, many people feel pressured into the practice because they don’t want to create problems or come off as unloving. But, as we mentioned earlier, not everyone will find spooning comfortable. So, it’s up to each couple to talk honestly about whether this practice will encourage intimacy or invoke feelings of discomfort.
Recommendations
Want to make spooning a more regular practice? There are plenty of ways that you can incorporate this cuddling or sexual position into your routine, such as:
- Looking into specially designed pillows for the big spoon. There are pillows on the market today that feature a kind of tunnel under the head of the little spoon to take the pressure off of the big spoon’s arm. This can make the position more comfortable and prevent cutting off blood flow
- Finding pillows for the little spoon. For optimal comfort, an S-shaped pillow for the little spoon is a good choice! This is especially true for pregnant women who may feel uncomfortable sleeping on their side.
- Making some space during the warmer months. There’s no rule that you have to be glued together from head to toe while spooning! You can choose to have your arms around each other with legs apart or only touch legs while keeping space between your torso. If it’s comfortable and cool, it’s a good summer option.
- Considering sleeping on your right side to encourage heart health. Some studies have shown that people with heart conditions can benefit from sleeping on their right side.
- To increase intimacy during sexual spooning, position a mirror beside the bed. If the lack of eye contact makes you feel disconnected during sex, consider placing a mirror next to you.
- Make sure to verbally check in during sexual spooning, since eye contact is limited. Since you won’t be able to see each other’s facial expressions in this position, it’s more important than ever to check in verbally.
- Ask your partner what other forms of stimulation they would enjoy during spooning. This is an opportune moment to learn more about what your partner wants when your hands are freed up!
- Not being shy about switching things up! Many couples joke about who gets to be the big spoon while cuddling, but this kind of banter can be used to explore sexual experiences as well! As long as everyone is feeling comfortable and open, there’s no wrong way to spoon!
Conclusion
In this article, we’ve taken a deep dive into a phenomenon that is popular among couples all over the world to answer the question: what is spooning? While we don’t know exactly when humans started to spoon, the fact is that this practice can encourage deeper intimacy and connection between couples.
So, if you’ve been curious about spooning or want to try out a different variety than you’re used to, talk to your partner. You just might benefit from all of the positive aspects of spooning!