The Pros and Cons of Dating Someone Older Than You

Wondering if you’re ready to start dating someone older than you? With age-gap relationships becoming more widespread and accepted all the time, this is a common experience!

Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of dating an older partner so that you can know what you’re really in for!

Pro: You can say goodbye to dating games

Age often comes with emotional maturity, which is a huge benefit for anyone looking to say goodbye to dating games. If you want to meet someone who calls you when they say they will and compliment you instead of faking disinterest, opt for an older partner!

Con: You might not agree with all their worldviews

Even though an older partner is likely to be more emotionally mature than someone your age, that doesn’t mean you’ll like all of their opinions. Being brought up in different generations could mean that the two of you have opposing thoughts on gender roles, politics, travel, and a whole range of topics.

For many, this will be something to get used to. But you can certainly turn this potential con into a pro if you keep an open mind and try to find common ground. At the very least, you’re in for a few interesting conversations!

Pro: Financial stability

This isn’t always the case, but older people are often in a better place financially than they might have been in their 20s or 30s. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they will pay for everything so that you don’t have to work another day of your life! But, it can be a relief to know that your partner can take care of themself and even spoil you from time to time.

Con: They may not be interested in the same activities as you

You might be in a phase of your life in which you spend all your free time going to concerts, hiking, backpacking the world or swimming with sharks. And we can bet that your older partner supports and encourages you to do those activities—it’s exciting for them to be with someone so free and full of life! But, when it comes down to them participating in your wild adventures, well don’t be surprised if they’d rather sit out. There certainly are highly active older people out there. But the majority are looking to enjoy a slower lifestyle.

If you’re looking for someone who is as active and enthusiastic as you, dating an older partner might not be satisfying.

Pro: They’ll have more life experience

Dating someone with life experience can be a huge plus! They’ll know the right wine to pair perfectly with your food order. And when you need advice, they’ll have a wealth of wisdom to help you make mature decisions.

So, don’t be afraid to ask for an older partner’s input on everything from financial advice to issues at work and more.

Con: They may think they know best

Having more life experience is a potential asset, but it can also be a bit frustrating if your partner is constantly offering unsolicited advice. In other words, sometimes the age difference can create a dynamic in which your older partner treats you like a child, student, or apprentice. So, if you’re feeling that your beau is being a bit condescending, you should talk to them about it! Let them know that you appreciate the support, but will ask for advice when you need it.

Pro: They may have networking connections

No matter what stage you’re at in your career, having a large network can be helpful. And whether your older partner is in your field or simply well-connected, don’t be afraid to take advantage! They’ll love the chance to connect you to people who can catapult your success.

Con: They may be looking for a trophy

Although there are many older folks who genuinely want to help you succeed in your career, there are others who are thinking more about their own image. They may be interested in dating a younger partner as a way to appear more powerful or make their peers jealous.

If this is happening, you’ll likely be able to notice it right away. And, whether you choose to play along is entirely up to you! Being a so-called trophy is only a negative if you’re not comfortable filling that role.

Pro & Con: They may not want a family

We say this is a pro and a con because it really depends on what you are looking for! If you want to find someone to marry and start a family with, dating someone older might not be your best option. After all, they may already have a family or be past the age where they can or want to have children.

On the other hand, if you don’t want the traditional lifestyle and are only dating people your age who do, dating someone older could certainly be a pro!

Tips for dating someone older than you

Now that you’ve considered some of the pros and cons of dating an older partner, you might be motivated to try it out for yourself! Here are a few words of advice for dating someone older than you:

• Don’t hyperfixate on the age gap. Without a doubt, it will take some getting used to when dating someone older than you. But do your best to adapt quickly! If you focus too much on your differences instead of your similarities, you’ll have trouble getting past the early dating stage.
• Get comfortable with getting looks. You’re likely to get a few sideways glances when you’re out and about with your older partner. It’s just par for the course, so don’t let it get to you!
• Maintain your independence. As we mentioned, sometimes age-gap relationships create an unromantic dynamic of caretaker and dependent. You can avoid feeling like you’re dating a parent figure by working on your own independence and self-sufficiency!
• Allow yourself to enjoy it! There are so many benefits to dating an older partner, so don’t forget to enjoy them! Whether your beau spoils you with luxurious vacations, showers you with gifts, or simply makes you feel special, you deserve to have fun and make the most of your time together!