Sugar Daddy Dating: Dealing with Social Stigma

Even though sugar daddy arrangements are becoming more mainstream, it’s still common to experience stigma in sugar dating. Fortunately, there are ways to enjoy your sugar relationships to the fullest even with the side-eyes and gossip.

In this article, we’re going to share tips from people who have been in the bowl long enough to know how to deal with the negativity!

Have a clear sense of why you’re sugaring

One of the best ways to protect yourself against outside opinions is to have a strong sense of purpose. With some self-reflection, you’ll be able to see that sugaring allows you to accomplish your own goals, be it an alternative to traditional dating, career growth, or travel opportunities. So, sit down and think about what those goals might be as well as what sugaring offers you.

Remember that most people don’t know very much about sugar relationships

Most of the information floating around about sugaring is wrong. So, people who judge you for deciding to have a sugar relationship probably don’t understand what your experience actually is. Try to keep that in mind so that you don’t take their negative opinions to heart.

At the end of the day, you are the only person who can say whether sugar dating is right for you because you are the one with all the facts! Don’t let someone’s incomplete view of your life influence the way you live it.

Don’t feel like you have to be an open book for everyone

Even though we are in an era of online sharing, it’s actually okay to live your life on a need-to-know basis. The people who don’t need to know the details about your dating life shouldn’t pressure you to share. And you certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’ve chosen this lifestyle. So, you can decide whether you want to keep your sugaring experiences private or public.

Know who is in your trusted circle

That being said, you don’t want to shut everyone out, either! It can be a huge asset to have one or a few supportive people with you on your sugaring journey. These will be the non-judgmental people who will be a phone call away if you have a bad meet & greet. And they’ll be willing to help you talk through how you’re feeling about potential partners and negotiations.

Having someone like this in your life can be a great way to boost your confidence even as you’re dealing with the stigma of sugar dating.

Have a few ready responses to inappropriate questions

Every once in a while, you may find yourself receiving rude or inappropriate questions from people who don’t understand or approve of sugaring. And, it’s easy to feel off-guard in these situations. Having a plan of action ahead of time can be a big help when facing this kind of stigma. Here are a few ideas:

If the question or comment is coming from a complete stranger

In this situation, we would recommend a polite but firm shut-down of the conversation. Someone who is willing to confront you in public without knowing anything about you is likely not going to be open to your perspective. You might say something like, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m trying to enjoy some quality time with my partner and I would like for you to leave us alone.” If this person continues to bother you, consider asking the manager or someone in authority to intervene so that you’re not dealing with the harassment on your own.

If the question is coming from a friend or loved one

Sometimes, a family member or friend will ask a question that is more hurtful or judgmental than they realize. If it’s someone that you want to continue to have a relationship with, you might say something like, “I considered the pros and cons of becoming a sugar baby/daddy before I started dating, and my experience has been positive. I know that not everyone understands, but I hope that you'll support me without judgment even if it’s not something that you would want for yourself.” This response may invite a more open, empathic conversation.

If the question is coming from an acquaintance of your sugar partner

Sometimes, the most uncomfortable stigma in sugar dating comes from your partner’s friends or colleagues. If someone asks an inappropriate question at a work mixer, for instance, it can be difficult to know how to respond. That’s why it’s always a good idea to talk to your partner about this ahead of time. How would they like you to introduce yourself, for instance? Do their acquaintances know you as their romantic partner? Mentee? Friend? Clearing this up with your sugar partner before someone asks how you know each other can give you a sure footing to stand on. You may be able to say, “We were introduced by mutual friends” or “We met online, like so many people do nowadays.”

Remember that your emotions are valid

The truth of the matter is, dealing with stigma in sugar dating can be tough. Especially if you don’t have the support of many of your friends and family members, you may feel isolated or misunderstood.

But, sometimes it can be helpful to remember that your feelings are valid! Instead of trying to ignore them or push them aside, acknowledge that dealing with other people’s judgments can be a difficult thing. Try channeling them through healthy outlets like exercise, journaling, or your hobbies.

Find your fellow sugar babies and daddies

Finally, if you’re struggling with the stigma of sugar dating in your personal life or larger society, remember that there’s a whole community of people who understand you! Connect with fellow members of the sugar bowl online or in your area who can make you feel supported and understood. These can be valuable relationships that give you confidence, a place to share your successes and struggles, and advice.

Dealing with stigma in sugar dating is a process

We wish that we could snap our fingers and make the stigma about sugaring disappear. But unfortunately, society has a long way to go before this kind of relationship is fully appreciated and accepted.

In the meantime, remember your goals, surround yourself with people who understand you, and shake off the negativity. You’ve got all the tools to overcome the stigma of sugar dating and make this lifestyle work for you!