How to Make a Guy Want You: 15 Surefire Ways & Tips

How to make a guy want you is a skill that many of us would love to master, especially when we have our eye on someone in particular.

As it turns out, gaining the kind of attention you want from your crush isn’t some sort of art form! If you can implement these 15 subtle changes to the way you interact with him, you’ll be amazed at how much his attitude towards you can change for the better.

Try them out for yourself!

1: Send the right message with body language

If there’s a man in your life that you want to connect with, the right body language can help you catch his attention without a single word.

For instance, when you’re with him, don’t cross your arms, even if you’re feeling nervous. Drop your shoulders, relax the muscles around your jaw and neck, and square your torso towards him.

2: Use your active listening skills

Humans are equipped with special neurons in the brain called mirror neurons, which allow us to connect with and show empathy for the feelings of others. It’s believed that these neurons are what account for chemistry between two people. And while you may be doing this automatically for your crush, there are a few subtle improvements you can make to strengthen your mirror neurons:

• Make eye contact
• Nod while listening
• Copy your partner’s body language
• Repeat parts of what they’ve said back to you. For instance, if a man is telling you about a trip he went on, you can say something like, “So, you arrived in Paris, and then what did you do after that?”

3: Become hard to get

You’ll notice that we didn’t say “play” hard to get, and that’s important. In order to really appeal to a man, you’ll want to make yourself hard to get. How? By creating a fulfilling, independent, confidence-boosting life of your own that he’ll want to be a part of.

It seems like a tall order, but there are actually small things that you can do right now to start being hard to get. For one thing, set aside time every week to explore your hobbies, whether it’s art, sports, movies, or cooking. By making yourself unavailable during the times when you’re doing something that you love, you’ll become a more interesting and independent person who will attract the men in your life.

4: Don’t play relationship games

Many of us are taught to play games to appear aloof or mysterious. And some of them can be effective on certain men. But nowadays, the general consensus is that those old rules are tiring, overly complicated, and maybe even a bit cowardly. Instead, try the following:

• Text when the mood strikes you. You don’t have to wait three days or have an excuse to talk to your crush. In fact, doing so could lead to a cooling-off that prevents further connection.
• Don’t read too much into small things. If you find yourself analyzing every text message and being overly careful of what you say, you’ll drive yourself crazy. That anxiety can create a rift in your relationship.
• Don’t use physical intimacy as a bargaining chip. You can go at a pace that feels comfortable for you instead of worrying about what society says. It’s okay if you become intimate on the first date or after you’ve established an emotional connection as long as you’ve made the decision based on your own comfort, not how you think it will affect him.

5: Make sure you’re matching his effort level

Okay, we mentioned that you should text your crush when you want instead of following outdated rules about appearing aloof. That being said, you also don’t want to spend your energy on someone who isn’t putting in as much effort as you are.

If they are sending you one-word answers, leaving you “on read” for hours or days, or only responding to some of your messages, it’s a good indication that there’s an imbalance in your relationship. Take a step back and focus on other aspects of your life.

6: Don’t be a “yes” person in his life

When we like someone, it’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy that everything they like is cool and everything they say is right. But this kind of infatuation is not how to make a guy want you.

So, the next time you’re having a conversation, check in with your inner voice. Think about what he’s actually said before agreeing with him. And if you don’t agree, speak up! You don’t want to be contrarian simply for the sake of disagreeing, but having differing opinions will keep your conversations more interesting.

7: Spend some time on your style

Don’t worry, we’re not about to say that you should start dressing overly sexy so that you can attract the guy you want. Instead, you’ll want to start thinking more intentionally about creating a sense of style for yourself. This is going to increase your confidence and naturally make you sexier, regardless of the clothes themselves. Here are a few things to think about:

• Your hair and makeup. Do you feel better after you’ve gotten a haircut? Are you up for trying out different makeup styles? Or do you feel your best with an au naturel look?
• Your wardrobe. What clothes make you feel most confident? If the answer is none of them, then you might consider working with a personal stylist to get a few tips.
• Your relationship to your body. From the glow you feel when you get a good night’s sleep to the natural energy boost you get when you drink enough water, your relationship with your health can actually be a big part of your personal style!

8: Appeal to his olfactory senses

Did you know that the olfactory sense (aka our sense of smell) is the strongest sense we have? You can appeal to him by using a subtle but pleasant scent that brings him in!

9: Open up, little by little

Being vulnerable is a powerful way to build intimacy. But, there’s a fine line between opening up at the right moments and trauma dumping.

In general, err on the side of not sharing too much of your personal life until you’ve built up some trust and he’s given you signs that he’s open to listening. One important sign is that he shares something vulnerable first.

10: Lighten up, too

Even though you may be reaching a phase in which you’re talking about more personal or heavy topics, no one wants to spend time with someone who is deeply emotional all the time. Remember to have fun, make jokes, get silly. This will show him that you’re someone who isn’t only safe to talk to, but can also bring some sunshine into his life!

11: Get steamy

Intimacy doesn’t only have to do with sleeping together! You can reel him in and keep him interested with the following irresistible techniques:

• Light physical touch. Putting a hand on his arm after he tells a funny joke is an example of how light touch can be very steamy!
• Flirty texting. You’ll be able to gauge how much fire he’s ready for in your text exchanges by taking a risk or two. For example, if he tells you he’s cooking, you might send something like, “That’s one of my favorite sexy traits in a man. Any others I should know about?”
• The art of the thirst trap selfie. Sending a steamy, but not overly sensual selfie can make a man melt. Learn more about the art of the thirst trap in our recent blog post!

12: Make him feel special

Ask him about his opinions, his day-to-day routine, his dog, and how he slept. These little things will show him that you care about him and make him feel special.

13: Make a point to get along with his friends and family

If the opportunity does come up for you to meet his social network, don’t psych yourself out or get overly anxious. Be polite, be yourself, and have a good attitude. It will show that you’re someone who could become a regular feature in his life.

14: Don’t brush things under the rug

As you start to get to know a guy, there are inevitably going to be things that bother you. And you may even feel tempted to ignore them or downplay them because you’re feeling pressured to make a good impression on him. Don’t do this! It will only breed resentment and negative feelings between the two of you, which will sabotage the relationship anyway.

Instead, be honest (in a respectful way!) about how you’re feeling. It may seem contrary to your ideas on how to make a guy want you, but it will actually invite deeper intimacy if you’re able to work through issues together.

15: Show your true self

In this article, we’ve covered 15 ways of how to make a guy want you. But the truth is, you already have all of the tools within you to make that connection and have your crush falling over themselves to be with you. The key is to work towards being comfortable with yourself and being brave enough to share your authenticity with the guy you’re interested in. If he’s really worth your time, he’ll want you. If not, you can spend your time looking for a better match.