Hatfishing: Definition & Signs to Watch Out For

You’ve heard of catfishing, but what about the more recent version: hatfishing? This recently-named phenomenon has sparked conversations about deception, attractiveness, and the perils of believing what you see on the internet.

In this article, we’ll explain what hatfishing is, how you can spot it, and ultimately, whether it’s worth worrying about!

Understanding Hatfishing

Hatfishing is the practice of covering a bald spot or thinning hair with the use of a hat, beanie, bandana, or other head covering. It is generally rooted in personal insecurity or the knowledge that society's beauty standards make it harder for men to find a partner without a full head of hair.

As we’ll discuss more in-depth in this article, there are many different perspectives on hatfishing. Some say that it’s insincere and deceptive while others categorize it as a styling preference akin to makeup or other hairstyle choices.

The Rise of Hatfishing in Online Dating

So, why is the term hatfishing making the rounds now? Well, online dating may have something to do with it.

It’s widely known that men have a more difficult time getting matches on some of the most popular online dating platforms like Tinder and Hinge. This is partly because there are typically more men on these sites than women, and women tend to be more selective in their swiping decisions.

What’s more, online dating in general is superficial, encouraging people on these platforms to focus initially on profile pictures before reading someone’s bio or engaging them in a conversation. As a result, many men feel pressured to put their best foot forward in an attempt to attract more attention in a competitive environment. Many of them think that potential partners will write them off for minor flaws, such as balding.

Psychological Reasons Behind Hatfishing

Psychological reasonings behind hatfishing can be rooted in different phenomena.

On the one hand, there’s personal insecurity. Those experiencing baldness, especially earlier than others in their peer group, may want to hide their thinning hair out of embarrassment.

On the other hand, there may be calculated reasoning here. A man may be confident in himself even though he’s balding, but may try to cover it up because he wants to avoid social criticism.

How Hatfishing Impacts Perceptions of Attractiveness

Hatfishing, for many men, is a convenient fix for the insecurity of losing their hair and the loss of social capital that comes with being bald. Not only are hats an accepted fashion accessory, but wearing them can make a man feel more comfortable and confident. This psychological boost and expression of personal style can increase their attractiveness.

Recognizing the Signs of Hatfishing

So, is the person you’re chatting with online really hatfishing? Or is wearing hats just part of their personal brand? There are a few signs that may suggest a hatfish.

Common Behaviors Indicating Hatfishing

• He has no pictures without hats
• He may have pictures without hats which crop out his head or are visually distorted to hide his baldness
• He may disparage societal standards as being too superficial
• He shows other signs of insecurity, such as being unable to accept a compliment
• He may avoid video calls when he’s at home and would presumably not be wearing a hat

The Societal Biases Fueling Hatfishing

In most cultures, a full head of hair is an attractive marker, probably because it suggests youth, vitality, and good health.

Of course, logically, we know that it’s unreasonable to write someone off because of baldness. After all, hair loss has more to do with the luck of genetics than health and has absolutely no connection to someone’s personality or quality as a partner.

But, it continues to be socially acceptable to reject a partner based on baldness. In fact, in one survey, 56% of women admitted that they would prefer a partner with a full head of hair.

Comparing Hatfishing to Other Dating Deceptions

Although the men who rely on hatfishing may view it as a reasonable tactic to attract potential partners, the reality is that many view it as a dating deception. Similar to using altered pictures, exaggerations about height, and more involved forms of catfishing, hatfishing is seen by many as lying.

Indeed, one survey found that 40% of women would end communication with someone after discovering that they had hatfished them.

That being said, not everyone would be so deterred by hatfishing. Some people see it as similar to other dating tactics commonly used by women, such as wearing make-up, dying your hair a different color, or wearing high heels.

Overall, everyone will come to their own conclusions about whether hatfishing is acceptable

Strategies for Addressing Hatfishing in Dating

If you come across someone’s dating profile that you suspect might be hatfishing, what should you do? Here are a few ideas for how to navigate the dating world with this new trend popping up in your potential matches:

• Ask yourself whether it bothers you or not. Hatfishing for some people is a non-issue, and you may even enjoy that someone’s personal style includes hats. Or, you might be of the mind that hatfishing is deceptive, in which case you may need to take further steps to decide how to proceed.
• If it does bother you, decide whether you want to address it. Maybe you really like everything else about this person’s profile and would like to pursue something further. In this case, you’ll want some tools for broaching the subject carefully (more in the next section.)
• If you’d rather not deal with a hatfisher, simply move on. As you probably already know, dating apps are full of options! So, if you’d rather not deal with hatfishing, you can always move on.

How to Approach a Suspected Hatfisher

Suspected hatfishing isn’t a deal breaker for everyone, especially if you empathize with the fact that they may be insecure. Or, you may wonder whether you’re reading too far into it and are writing someone off for their personal style. So, how can you proceed?

Encouraging Open Conversations About Appearance

The more you spend time with someone, you’ll get to know whether they use hats because they like them or because they’re trying to hide an insecurity.

For instance, how do they act when you invite them to do activities that would require them to take their hat off, such as swimming, attending a formal event, or even relaxing in a more intimate setting? Someone who is consciously hatfishing may make up excuses to avoid these scenarios.

Eventually, the time will be right for you to bring up the subject gently. You might say something like, “You know, I’ve never seen you without a hat on. Have you worn hats your whole life? Or is it a more recent style choice?”

If you’re able to start the conversation without judgment or criticism, he may feel comfortable sharing what hats mean to him. This may even be a conversation that brings you closer together, especially if you’re able to share your own experience with insecurities.

The Role of Confidence in Overcoming Hatfishing

Addressing Insecurities Related to Hair Loss

In the majority of cases, hatfishing is related to insecurity. As such, a process of confidence-building is the best way to overcome it. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help someone overcome their hair loss insecurities:

• Remember that ultimately, it’s their journey and their choice. Someone who uses a hat to make them feel comfortable and attractive may not be willing to give up the practice, no matter how much you tell them you like them how they are. If it’s a problem for you, you may need to walk away instead of trying to force them to change.
• Validate the unfairness of hair loss being seen as unattractive. Hair loss prejudice is mocked by society, but it can create real psychological distress. Validating someone’s struggles with self-image can help them feel supported.
• Encourage them to pursue activities that make them feel confident. Whether it’s spending time with friends or finding a therapist, support the choices they make to build their own confidence.
• Respect their privacy. If someone is hiding their hair loss, they’re not going to feel comfortable with you telling your mutual friends about their insecurity. Remember to be a safe space for your partner as they navigate a tricky situation.

Moving Beyond Hatfishing: Embracing Authenticity

In a perfect world, no one would be judged for their hair loss, whether it be the result of pattern baldness, illness-related alopecia, or another condition. But, the reality is that many people believe that they can’t find love without covering up their thinning hair, leading to hatfishing.

The more that we can move beyond the superficial and give people a chance to show their true colors, the more we all will feel empowered to show up authentically. Yes, even on dating apps!