Conversation Starters for Couples

Whether you want to feel more connected, pass the time on a long road trip, or share a laugh, these conversation starters for couples are just what you need!

Take a look at these fun, interesting questions that will have you talking for hours!

Fun and whimsical icebreakers

When you’re looking to get the ball rolling, it’s best to keep things light and fun. Try these out:

• Name your top five bucket list items
• What was the first concert you ever went to?
• How would you describe your style in high school? Are you embarrassed about it now, or proud?
• If you could only dress in monochrome for the rest of your life, what color would you choose?
• What’s the worst place you could imagine going on a honeymoon?
• What does water taste like to you?
• Should people own exotic pets?
• What is your “kids these days” opinion?
• What is a movie that everyone loves and you think is terrible?

Relationship-related questions

Alright love birds, time to talk about you two! These questions are meant to explore your ideas about love and serve as reminders about why you’re such an adorable match:

• What’s the first thing you noticed about me?
• Were you nervous on our first date? What did you tell yourself to calm your nerves?
• If you had to pick a love song for us, what would it be?
• Would you rather spend the night stargazing or in a five-star hotel?
• What’s the quirkiest thing about me that you secretly love?
• Do you think dating today is more difficult than it was half a century ago?
• If you could write my dating app bio, what would you make sure to include?
• What activities do you think bring us closer together?
• What does intimacy mean to you?
• What is your love language?

Hobby-related questions

Talking about someone’s passion or daily moment of joy is a wonderful way to understand them on a deeper level! So, get to know more about their hobbies with these questions:

• What does creativity look like in your life?
• If someone could pay you to do what you do in your free time, what would that activity be?
• Do you think that being paid for your hobby makes it less enjoyable? Or would you be happy to capitalize on your hobby?
• What’s a skill that you could easily teach to someone else?
• Do you think that you get enough time during the week to practice your hobby?
• What would be your absolutely perfect gift related to your hobby?
• If you were offered money to start a podcast, what would you talk about?

Questions for the philosophically minded

Maybe you’ve had a few glasses of wine and are ready to take on the questions of the universe. Here are a few conversation starters for couples more philosophically minded:

• Do you think that we are the product of nature or nurture? If you think both, what are some characteristics of yours that you think come from your upbringing versus your genes?
• What does it mean to be a good person?
• Do you think that people can change?
• How much control do we have over our emotions?
• Do you believe in destiny? Or do we make our own destiny?

Get to know their family a little better

Family can be a rich topic of conversation! But, instead of asking simple questions like, “How many brothers and sisters do you have,” here are a few that are sure to make the conversation more meaningful:

• If you could design a family crest for your family, what three symbols would you use?
• Who in your family do you think you resemble most, either in personality or looks? Who is the most different?
• How does your family deal with conflict?
• How does your family celebrate when good things happen?
• What’s your favorite funny family story?
• How do you think your family would react to being stranded on an island together?
• What kind of tree would your family tree be? A small, tight-knit family, for instance, might be a bonsai. A large sprawling family might be an oak.
• What is a question that your family always asks you when you see them?
• Do you believe that birth order has an impact on our personalities? E.g. baby of the family, the forgotten middle child, only child syndrome, etc.
• What are some values that you learned from your family that you take with you?
• What are some habits that you learned from your family that you’ve learned to let go?
• Did your family have ideas about what your career should be? Did you follow their suggestions or forge your own path?
• When do you feel like it is the right time to introduce your significant other to your family?
• Do you have a “chosen family” in your life, in other words, people who mean a lot to you but aren’t related? How did you meet them and what do they mean to you?

Personal conversation starters for couples

These questions are going to be a great option for couples who really want to know their partner on a more intimate level. It’s important when talking through these questions that each person feels safe and supported, so no interrupting or judging!

• What is the insecurity that you wish you could shake but just can’t?
• What about yourself are you most proud of?
• If you were to wake up as an entirely different person, what would you miss about your old life (i.e. this life)
• What’s a life lesson that you had to learn the hard way?
• If someone gave you an unlimited budget, would you spend it on travel or your dream home? You can only choose one.
• What did you want to be when you grew up? What do you think 8-year-old you would think about your career now?

Things to keep in mind as you go through these conversation starters for couples

These open-ended, interesting questions are meant to invite meaningful and fun conversation. To really make the most out of this exercise, here are a few final tips for chatting with your partner:

• Don’t rush through the questions. Most of these questions will require thoughtful answers, so make sure that each person has ample time to respond. You may even pose the question and mull it over in your own head before sharing your answers.
• Always give your partner the opportunity to pass on a question. You may be eager to know your partner’s answer to a specific question, but always respect their decision not to share if they don’t want to. After all, it’s not an interrogation.
• Remember that there are no wrong answers. Some answers from your partner may surprise you and many will be very different from your own. The goal is to better understand the other person’s perspective, not get into a heated argument about their response. If one or both of you is getting emotional, take a pause and talk about why.
• Try asking the same questions a few months later. Even after you and your partner have gone through this list of questions, you may get very different answers the next time you play! So, bookmark this list of conversation starters for couples and come back to it the next time you want some heart-felt connection!